Children of my own...

I have found myself lately wanting kids of my own more than anything in this world. I've wanted kids since around the time I was just super young around the age of 19. Well, that was over 10 years ago and here I am still with NO KIDS OF MY OWN! Most of the time I am just fine. I'm happy with my life and the things that I've been blessed with. But as of lately my heart aches daily for kids to call my own. I want it so badly that words just can not express how I feel. I understand that it's not easy to be a mom. There are a lot of sacrifices that come with being a mom. But it's worth it to say those are my cute kids! Clearly this will not happen for me anytime soon. But I just needed to get this off my chest, needed to put it out there.
It was recently pointed out to me that I make no effort for romance in my life. I realize this is true (and I want to thank this person for bringing this to my attention). But there are reasons why no efforts are made. I have experienced a lot of hurt in my relationships & I know that my heart is not strong enough of another breaking. Yes, there are other ways of having kids. But I don't want to adopt and end up as a single mom raising a kid on my own. I've seen a lot of people do that in my life and do an amazing job at it. But I would make a HORRIBLE SINGLE WORKING MOM! I can barely take care of myself after working a full day. There's no way I could come home and take care of me and an amazing little child. So I hope to someday get past the hurt I've felt in my life and willingly seek love. I know that until then I can not have the childrn that I long to have. That deeply saddens me. :( I want to thank all of the wonderful people in my life for sharing your beautiful children with me. I adore all of the children who I'm blessed with in my life. Just long for children of my own!

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