Dating...oh boy!

I'm starting to think this is true ;)

Haha...true true...except I did just finsh the graduate degree...but secretly I've always wanted to be the housewife of a hard working husband! ;)

Okay I don't sit around waiting for prince charming to show up at my door. I know it doesn't work that way...I wish! I try to get out there as much as I can. But the older I get the harder that gets! I mean seriously, I'm 33 years old. At my age, there aren't a lot of men out there. But the ones that are out there, are divorced and don't want to be in a relationship, or are just wierd and so not a good fit for me! So wherer are all the good men?? They're all married did I miss all the good ones? I've been doing what I'm supposed to...or at least trying. I'm a good person. I work hard. So why do i not deserve to be married? Why am I stuck being single and lonely? Why oh why oh why??? 

I recently was set up by a friend. She set me up with a guy that sounded like a good guy. He is divorced and has two daughters. But he still seemed like a good guy. So I thought, I'll give it a chance, I'll date this guy and see where it goes. We had some super great phone conversations. But it seemed to end there! We only went out once. And the six or seven other times he bailed on me at the last minute. He was really good at making me super happy during our phone conversations. And super good at crushing all of that in two seconds when he canceled our dates! He just seemed like it didn't matter to him that he was crushing my heart when he canceled on me. It was always shortly before we were supposed to go out. (Someone didn't show up to work so I'm stuck covering the shift, Someone asked to switch shifts so I said yes, I need to go home teaching, My sisters showed up unannounced from out of town, etc.) Now I'm an understanding person...but hello...ACTIONS DEFINITELY SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!!! When this happens that many times, it's very clear that the person is not interested.

So I finally just sent him a big long email. I was pretty sure that I'd never see him in person again. And I couldn't handle the nights crying in my bed over some stupid boy anymore. So I was very honest and told him how I felt. I told him that I love our phone conversations and that I think he's a really great guy. But that I can't handle being canceled on so often. I told him that I was ready for a relationship. But I felt that he is not ready and that he's pushing me away. I just told him everything that I was thinking. And in turn, he wrote back and told me that he's not interested in dating. That everything else in his life takes priority over dating. That when other things come up, he does cancel becuase he has no interest what so ever in dating. His email kind of hurt. In my mind, when you get set up you sort of plan on "dating". So I just was confused on what he thought we were doing. When we got set up, I wonder what he thought. As he started to call me and have great conversations. And as he planned date after date that got canceled. I'm just confused and hurt that he would be willing to get set up when he knew perfectly well that he had no intention of dating! 

Well anyways, I'm glad that I sent that email. Otherwise I would have continued on liking him and waiting to see where this my heart gets broken over and over again! Glad I sent that email so I could move on with my life and hope to ifnd Mr. Right. Someday...someday...someday it will happen... And I've heard all the advice: It will happen when it's right, it will happen when you least expect it, it will happen when you're not thinking about it, it will happen when you're ready, etc. I know it all! None of it seems to be my life at least. I've got through many phases and stages of life, dating, men. I hate them, I love them, I don't want them, I want them more than boy! Life is hard!!!

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