What's your "reason"??
So I was listening to this song in my car today. And today this had a different meaning than was intended by Pink. But it made all the difference for me. I was sitting in my car at a red light. This song comes on and I start singing as I always do (because I love this song). And as I was singing, the meaning suddenly changed for me, it hit me like a ton of bricks. One line from the song hit me hard today "Just give me a reason". I know that's one simple line, but I think it's what I needed to hear today. I'm a firm believer that The Lord sends you messages in ways that you may not be expecting them.
Today that message to me was that my students are my "reason". My life is different than most people at my age. I'll be turning 34 in a few months. I have no husband and no kids. There aren't many people at my age in my same shoes. Most people at my age find great purpose in their family (aka: their spouse and children). But what's my purpose? I realized today that my purpose is to be there for the students in my classroom. They come from many different backgrounds. And it is my purpose or job to give them a safe environment to come to 5 days a week no matter what type of environment they're in the rest of the week. Those beautiful students give me a purpose. My purpose is to teach them, to care for them, to give them safety, to love them, to teach them to read and write, to teach them certain life skills that will help them out in the real world. Those students are my purpose or my "reason".
God entrusts me to a new set of students each year. He has given me the divine duty of taking care of them for 7 hours a day 5 days a week. We each came to this Earth with a purpose and that purpose may change several times throughout our lives. But my purpose right now is to be there for my students. My purpose is to protect them for 7 hours a day while they're in my classroom. (Actually about 3.5 hours a day, I have two different classes) My purpose is to teach them to respect one another. And to teach them to "try their best" in all that they do. My purpose is to prepare them for life, if even in a small, insignificant way.
I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it many times again. All my heart has ever desired is to be a wife and mother. But I also have always known that I can't teach and be a mother at the same time. I strive for perfection. I know that I will never be perfect. But I also know that as I work at something I can become better at it. So if I was a mother and a teacher, I'd be okay at each of those two jobs. But those are both very important jobs. I feel that those are both jobs that require a lot of work but also need a lot of attention. And I feel (for myself) that it's not okay to be mediocre at either of those jobs. And my Heavenly Father knows this about me. So although I long for the day that I can hold my own child, there are other children that need me more right now. So I will continue to follow the guidance of my Heavenly Father and I know that someday he'll give me those blessings that I so desire.
In the meantime...I can't wait for the school year to start! Yes, I LOVE SUMMER just like every teacher out there. Summer is the only reason I'm able to teach. The three month so called "break" gets me through the rest of the year. I work so hard during the other nine months...that I need those other 3 months (actually less than that) to sleep in, lay by the pool, and hang out on pinterest preparing for the next school year! I'm pumped to meet my new class!!!
I know this post may seem deep. But ever since I heard this song this afternoon, I've been thinking about this and felt that I should share.