Happy Sunday everyone! I've always loved Sundays. But recently Sundays are the only thing that seems to get me through the rest of the week. Sundays are so uplifting that they give me the strength and the power to make it through yet another week. I try really hard to focus on the positive things in my life and stay happy as often as I can. I'd much rather be happy and positive then to be negative all of the time. Life is so much harder when you're always negative! But today was one of those days that drug me down... And let me tell you why! But first I'm ofcourse going to start with the positives of the day!
I started the day off at this sweet sister's farewell. She's a friend of my little sister Kayla. Because of them being friends, I also got to know sweet McKelle. So I went to her farewell today. What a fabulous way to start a Sunday! Except, now that Kayla's gone, I bawl at every mission farewell because I can't stop thinking of Kayla. Although I'm super happy for Kayla with the great work that she's doing, I also miss her like crazy! Anyways, McKelle is heading to the Nashville, TN mission. She'll be great! She is so full of excitement that she seriously can't even contain it. It was fun to see that cute excitement today!
Here's the depressing part of my day:
I decided since I had to miss my ward today I'd attend the Mid-Singles Ward. I went once before, a few months back. At that time they weren't enforcing the age limit, so everyone in the room had gray hair! Well meeting 60 year old men is not going to help my situation one bit. So I said: "No thanks, this ward is not for me." But they recently made some changes and decided that they needed to enforce the age limit. So now it's a ward for 31-45 year olds. So I gave it a try today. How depressing! I counted and there were exactly 9 men and 10 women. Pretty good odds right? Well, it's sortof slim pickins as far as the men in the ward go. And I know I will sound selfish here. But I deserve better. I have worked really hard my entire life to be worthy of the kind of man that I want in my life. So I'm not going to change my standards just so I can get married. I'm sure some of you are now thinking that my standards are too high. Well, I don't think that they are. I know many women with the same standards that I have set that found the man of their dreams and have married happily. So just because I'm older does not mean that I am willing to change my standards. I guess that's why this is so depressing. There are no good men left! Where do I find myself a good man? I have worked hard my entire life to make sure that I'm worthy of such a man. But I keep getting older and older and the odds of me finding a man get slimmer and slimmer. My patriarchal blessing clearly states that I will marry in this life. So where did I stear wrong? It's hard not to think that there is something that I've done wrong when I look at the world around me...
Now I'm not the most outgoing person that you'll ever meet. But I'm fun and cheerful and people love to be around me. I've dated some absolutely amazing men. But for some reason (it must be something I'm doing) men sortof put me up on a pedastool. After dating me for a little while they decide that they're not good enough for me. They decide that I don't fit into their life. They decide that they're a better person for knowing me, but they need to move on and find someone else. So somehow all these fabulous men who I've dated think that I'm amazing but that I'm too amazing for them. So they dump me and then the next girl they date becomes their wife. I've become an excellent stepping stool for helping men meet their future wife. Man, they should make a movie out of my life lol. What would a great title be??? Hmmm...Anyways, I try not to let myself think about this or I get too depressed. But today sitting in that Mid-Singles Ward really did it to me...Wow! Well...hopefully someday I'll meet my Prince Charming!
With that being said, The Lord knows me. He truly knows me! As hard as that fact is to accept sometimes, He truly does know me. I know that because of the small acts of kindness that happen to me all the time. Today it was a sweet ward member who brought me a plate of cookies. She is such a sweet lady and I love when I get the chance to chat with her at church! Out of the blue she brings me cookies tonight. That right there is The Lord. This wonderful lady in my ward is going through a very difficult time right now. She didn't have to make me cookies. But she did. She came and brightened my day! And I'm grateful that when she could've sat at home and worried about her own sorrows, she thought of me. What a blessing such a small act of kindness was for me today! :)