{Am I Too Hard On Myself?...YES!!}

In our discussion in Sunday School today, someone said something that has really stuck with me. She said: "When someone is hard on themselves, then they are also hard on others. We must first love others so that we can love ourselves." 

I totally agree with the first part. The second part I don't really agree with. I think we need to actually love ourselves first before we can love others.

But this really got me thinking. I am so hard on myself. I honestly expect almost perfection out of myself. I often worry that I haven't done good enough and that I'll be judged by others for my lack of perfection. I didn't used to be this way. But some trials that I've had the last few years have really changed me. I really don't like that I am like this, and I'm working very hard to change it.  

But when I heard what this woman was saying today I started to wonder. Am I hard on others? I don't think I am. But I started to think of others in my life. My students came to mind. I do expect my students to work hard and to succeed in the things they set out to accomplish. But I know that I'm not hard on them like I am on myself. I also thought of my siblings. I'm definitely not hard on them. I think they're all pretty great. Maybe I'm the only one who's not perfect lol??!! I expect so much out of myself that it is pretty exhausting sometimes. I often have to remind myself that I'm only one person and that there's only so much that I can do. And when I don't accomplish a task I have to remind myself that there's always tomorrow. 

I've really had to rely on The Lord in my life lately. As I've made this major change in my life and I'm all alone, I know on my most difficult day that he is there for me. I've really seen The Atonement of Jesus Christ in a new light recently. The Atonement is for everyone. We can use it in our lives. We should use it, because that is what it is there for. I am learning a lot about myself and the gospel through my daily struggles. I hope that as it (hopefully) gets a little easier that I will still allow myself the opportunity to learn and to grow. What an experience this move has been! 

And now that I've voiced my feelings it sounds like I don't agree with this quote at all lol. But it was very thought provoking for me. So I'm grateful that I was in that class and heard that quote today, because it did cause me to reflect on my own life. And it did make me think about something I already knew: {I'M REALLY HARD ON MYSELF!!} I guess since I already knew that, this quote has just made me think about that a little bit more. And maybe realize that I need to try a little harder to be a little nicer to myself. I'm doing the best that I can. I may not think I'm doing that great. But The Lord probably feels a little differently. 

Okay, I don't know if this blog post made any sense at all. But honestly, it kinda feels good to get that off of my chest. I'm too mean to myself. I expect too much of myself. I need to stop it! {I'll try a little harder tomorrow.} :)

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